TYPE vs REALITY

Type. A word we have all probably uttered when considering our ideal partner. Over the years I have gone through a variety of types. I wanted a funny, understanding, tall person. The list went on with a bunch of unrealistic adjectives. Back then I thought building an ideal partner in my head would guide me on my search. However, I was building what I considered was a perfect human being, one which could never exist. The partner in my brain was always flawless but in reality, we all have our flaws and I was refusing to see it. When I found someone, they were either too short, too tall or were missing some of the characteristics I was looking for. 

Growing up I was always met with games that fed into that mindset. I remember playing a game with a jump rope which had the categories that would describe your future husband. “What letter would his first name be?”, “Would he be tall or short?”, “Would he be rich or poor” and other questions that ruined my young mind. Moving onto adolescence social media reinforced the “type” mindset. Memes described the “tall, dark and handsome” preference flooded my feed. I assumed it was normal to want the same relationship dynamic what we have now termed as “couple goals”. Even my mum played a factor always talking about how her in-law would look like and act like, which had me thinking that was what I wanted for a while but I realized those are her preferences not mine. 

Now I would not say I no longer have a type anymore but the superficial answers I would have given 2 or 3 years back would no longer be my answer today. The reality I have come to realize is that there is more to an ideal partner than their looks or status. I know this would be hard for most people to come to terms with considering how our society is built on approaching people based on the looks first. My advice would look beyond charade of pretenses that cloud your judgement and you might be surprised.  

 I had an aha! moment after reevaluating the person I am currently seeing. I was very hesitant because I did not think I was his type, or he was mine, but I put my “type” aside and welcomed what I think could potentially be an ideal relationship. If I had stuck with the type mentality this would have never been a possibility. There are so many factors that hinder people from looking past their typical type. My advice would be look beyond the charade of pretenses that cloud your judgement and you might be surprised. It’s hard being an outsider than thinks outside the box. Idealistic beliefs have a strong foothold in our lives, and it can be difficult to see the realism. The general term of having a “type” is skewed for every individual and you have to ask yourself do I just want to be a generic type or the real deal.